If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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