My nipple is on Facebook.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
