My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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