I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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