Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
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