I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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