i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
