sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
