No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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