Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize