I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
