Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
