Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
