So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
