Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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