If i could tip my vagina, i would.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
