no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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