It's Friday. Sex?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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