i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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