you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
