so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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