I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
