he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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