ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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