after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
