And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
