How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
