Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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