if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Betty ford says i'm here all night
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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