K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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