is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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