Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
