First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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