we have officially lost it.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
