i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
