I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
