I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
as a side note pls kill me
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
