I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
