why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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