Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
