i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
