i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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