i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
