I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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