the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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