let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
