I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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