I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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