My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
