I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize