I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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