He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
