The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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